Let’s face it, we’ve all been there; when you walk into your next class, or your desk at work, and sit patiently minding your own business…when suddenly he walks in—no, saunters in—with his reflective aviators, a smile worthy enough for TV, and that dark head of hair you would not mind running your fingers through. You watch enviously while he flirts with the head cheerleader or skinny secretary. You know you shouldn’t, but you can’t help it. He is gorgeous, the kind of bad boy everyone wants, and you are merely the nice girl with another hopeless crush. Unnoticed; practically invisible to his eye.
Why is this such a common scenario when it comes to nice, “good” girls and “bad” boys? What is it about certain jerks that make them so, let’s just face it, appealing?
Well, that’s exactly it: the appeal. According to Datingish.com, humans are much like animals in the sense that we unconsciously seek out those whom we consider “best” as the potential parent for our children. It’s basically survival of the fittest. As people, we look for certain attractive qualities in our partner, in hopes that he or she will pass these traits on to their children. Generally, we find these “power qualities”—good looks, intellect, cleverness, charisma, etc.—attractive.
You will find dozens of similarities in a stereotypical “bad boy”: the charming good looks, confidence with a twinge of arrogance, that mysterious (and alluring) hint of danger. Sound familiar? That’s the appeal! The power qualities in guys mentioned above causes us women to get excited, to wonder, to stomp our feet in frustration because we are in some natural way attracted to them. Despite all the futile attempts to get them to notice us, it’s the chase that keeps us going. They say the chase is the best part, right? Real talk: sometimes, when a guy’s too obvious or “easy,” the appeal wears off. And unfortunately, we get bored.
“In reality, every girl just wants to feel special and appreciated,” says Mt. San Antonio College student Madeline Griffin, 19. “When girls don’t get the attention they desire from these ‘bad boys,’ they try extra hard to prove themselves…but it can be a status thing too. Ultimately, who you’re with is a reflection of the kind of person you are.”
So, is bad boy the newest trend? We think not. Sometimes, a guy’s power qualities can also be his downfall, nothing short of abusive, tempered or disrespectful. Sure, the chase might be fun, but every game gets tiring after a while. Instead of following your playful curiosity, learn from your past experiences and be open to newer ones and be patient! Your real dream guy, the one you deserve (and who has been waiting for you all along), may be just around the corner…or even down two cubicles.