When we go on dates with someone, we are trying to learn more about them. We see if we are compatible, if we like the same things they do, and so we learn who they are. But what if we dated ourselves? What if we took the time to truly get to know who we are, what we like and who we would be compatible with?
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Dating yourself might sound crazy but spending time alone is the only way you will find out who you are and what you want or need in a relationship. The first step to dating yourself is to not be involved with anyone. When you are in a relationship or pre-relationship, it is hard to establish a true sense of yourself. Take a dating hiatus while you start to find out who you are.
Start by finding things you enjoy. Figure out what kind of music or movies you honestly like, not the ones you say you like to impress someone. Learn what you like to do in your free time, whether it be working out or reading, and explore further. Why do you like this? What is your favorite thing about it? Simple questions to get your mind flowing.
After a few ‘dates’, focus inward. Learn what you like about yourself. For a week, point out five positive things about yourself every morning. Find things that make you unique and traits that are lovable. This is when you start to see the good in yourself. This is also when you start to genuinely love who you are and what you have to offer. You are starting to learn about personal issues and it could be a little emotional. During this stage you might realize what you have been hiding from yourself or why you hold certain aspects of yourself back from others. You might realize why you are attracted to certain guys or how a past relationship still affects you, which can help you move past it.
This is also the most beneficial stage. It is where you learn to truly accept yourself for who you are, which is a must before beginning a relationship with anyone. You develop a true sense of self that is sustainable even after a breakup or rejection. You will see why you are awesome and why people love you.
Once you’ve started falling for yourself, then you need to figure out what you want and need from a relationship. Learn what you will tolerate in a relationship and more importantly, what you won’t tolerate. This is when you’ll begin to see that you shouldn’t settle for someone who doesn’t treat you the way you want to be treated. I am not saying that you should dump someone because they do not text you as much as you want, but if they treat you with anything less than respect then they need to go.
Learning what you want in a relationship helps you ultimately realize who you want to be in a relationship with. This is not necessarily a person you know, but a conceptual idea of an idealistic relationship you would want.
Dating yourself is an experience that is truly eye-opening. You can discover so much about yourself and what you can bring to a relationship. You will be able to develop a love for yourself and know what you want or need in a relationship with someone else.
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